Sasha Mears, 50, mom to Sadie, 6

Stock photo by boletin
Sasha Mears Age: 50. Mother to Sadie, aged six. She is married to Michael, 47, a cab driver and landscape gardener

I got married when I was 37 after Michael and I had been together for two years. I had had lots of relationships before, but never seriously considered spending the rest of my life with any of them. We started trying for a family as soon as we got married.

I didn't have any difficulty getting pregnant. It was getting to the next stage that proved to be the problem. They reckoned I lost the first one because of flu. I was grief stricken. In all, I had two definite miscarriages and two probable ones before Sadie came along. Every time you have a miscarriage it takes up to six months for your hormonal levels to re-establish themselves to a normal pitch ready to accept another pregnancy. So effectively every time a pregnancy fails you've lost another year.

I didn't have those years to lose so I went to the assisted conception unit at King's College Hospital in London on the NHS. They gave me drugs that boosted my ovulation rate. You produce six or seven eggs and they fertilise you synthetically. We did three cycles. On the third one I conceived, which was pregnancy number four, but it faltered again at around seven or eight weeks. As I was waiting to start the next cycle I conceived all by myself. I was thrilled. I was nearly 44 when I had Sadie.

I think there are a lot of advantages to being an older mother. For somebody like me who has always been a workaholic you make time because you know you haven't got time to waste. Sadie has never been to a childminder. We juggle work like mad so one or other is always there for her. I'm a theatrical costumier and make sure I get up at 5am three or four times a week to get enough hours of work done to keep my business afloat. But fortunately it's very well established, which it wouldn't be if I was younger. I don't have money worries at all.

I don't really worry about her being on her own in the future because I come from a very long-lived family. There is no cancer or heart disease. We die of boredom aged 93 having caught a cold cross-country running. My husband's family are also healthy and long-lived. You could go under a bus tomorrow. I have a will and there's a trust fund set up.

The only disadvantage of being an older mother is that we would have liked another child and it isn't going to happen. I don't think being an older mother is something that people should risk planning for because of the fertility issue. But if it happens to you be pleased because it carries huge advantages.

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