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Friday, April 29, 2011

Baby Boy Weens

Friday, April 29, 2011
M. writes:
I am probably the most excited of your readers to be writing! You see, I have been reading your site for YEARS now... before I ever even considered I would be in this position!
This lil guy (a boy, due beginning of Aug) is a blessing but a little bit of a surprise:) I have been collecting names for years, and have a HUGE list... but no name seems to be fitting him! I like quite unique names, but not made up sounding (I have a common name and was always one of 3 or 4 in my class). The baby's dad and I are not together, but he is part of the naming process. I thought I found the perfect name, and he completely vetoed it (Huxley)! GAH!
As of right now, my list is something like this:


Huxley (number one, but dad hates it),

Axyn/Axtyn,

Atlin,

Salix/Sylix,

Kaivor,

Kaius,

River (not sure about this one)

Kesler (except from friend/family polls they all assume I am
naming him after the hockey player!)

I LOVE the name Finlay nn Finn but it is just becoming far too popular and unisex (both situations I strongly wish to avoid)!!! Same goes for Sawyer, Everett

Dad has suggested: Jetson (reminds me of the show which I hate)

Ari (entourage... Ari Gold - no good)


For middle names, I was thinking of using a family name, Robert. I also considered using Crosby, a family name on the dad's side or Fyffe. Baby will have my last name (Weens) so trying to avoid names like Meyer, Oscar, Halo (haha if you add those with my last name you will see why!)

It appears that I like X, V, etc names (also Qs)...

I can't sleep because of this naming problem and would LOVE to have a few fantastic top choice names before delivery:)

Thanks for all of your help


Thanks again

Unlike many people who write saying they're looking for unique names, some of the names on your list may actually BE unique: they don't appear on the 2009 U.S. naming records at all. But if you are trying to avoid names that seem made-up, I would remove Axyn, Axtyn, Salix, Sylix, and Kaivor.

But---ARE you trying to avoid made-up names? It looks like that's what you LIKE. Just as I'd tell a parent who was trying to avoid Top Ten names even though her favorite names were Isabella, Olivia, and Chloe, I think you should go with what your tastes ARE, and not what you feel your tastes SHOULD BE. Though I'd caution that it's a good idea to keep in mind that we give names to someone else, and that the Someone Else is the one who has to live with the name, not us: just as you had a less than favorable experience with your parents' taste for a common name, your son might prefer to come back a little bit from the opposite end of the spectrum. Middle ground can be a pleasant place for finding names: maybe the occasional fluke of a repeat in a classroom, but not spending his whole life explaining his name, either.

I would also caution that it's common for parents considering a unisex name for a girl to further feminize the name by changing a vowel to a Y. So often is this done, names with multiple potential spellings where the Y spelling is chosen can look automatically feminine. If you choose Axtyn, for example, I suggest spelling it Axton. Not only does this reduce the made-up look, it masculinizes a name many people will be unfamiliar with.

Perhaps you should reconsider Finlay, if you love it and the only problem with it is that it's too popular. It wasn't even in the Top 1000 for boys in 2009 (source: Social Security Administration), and the spelling Finley is only #722. The two spellings combined would be about #657, which would be about .0177%, or 1 baby boy named Finlay/Finley per 5,650 baby boys. That's very, very uncommon. I wonder if it seems more common because of all the similar names: Finn alone, Finnegan, Griffin, Finian, Phineas, etc.? But I do think it's worth re-thinking it: IS it way too popular for you to use? If so, I'm not sure any of the names I suggest will be suitable. [Note: I wrote this paragraph while working with an earlier draft of the question, which didn't yet include the part about unisex being a problem. That additional problem with the name would normally cause me to delete the paragraph as no longer relevant, but...I did so much MATH! So I'm leaving it in because I think actual/perceived popularity is always an interesting topic, and also because I want to leave in the part about my own suggestions likely being too popular to use---but I'd no longer suggest M. reconsider it: it looks like it may very well go unisex.]

My first suggestion is Felix. It's not a bit made-up sounding, nor is it common. It has the X you're hoping for. I like it especially well with Robert: Felix Robert Weens.

If Everett is too common for you at #320, would you like Everest, which is not in the Top 1000?

Would you consider Crosby as a first name? It's not in the Top 1000, either.

A couple in our birthing class named their son Xzathian (ex-ZAYTH-ee-an). Xathian (which I'd think could be ex-ZAY-thee-an or ZAY-thee-an, as with Xavier) would work, too.


More possibilities:

Axel
Cato
Cyrus
Baxter
Haskell
Jagger
Kelton
Lennox
Oberon
Orion
Paxton
Quinlan
Tycho
Xerxes
Zayden