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Sunday, May 15, 2011

Baby Girl D_____ (Rhymes With Yellow), Sister to Landon and Brady

Sunday, May 15, 2011
Charlene writes:
I have been pouring myself into researching names since I found out I was pregnant but my husband and I have not agreed on a name still! I have two months left to go (EDD due mid-July) and it truly seems hopeless. I have two sons from a previous marriage that I named myself: Landon James and Brady Kenneth. I was drawn to the English Gentlemen sound of it, as well as having last names as a first to make their names sound strong. This time, we are finally having a girl, so this is a very big deal for me! I want to give her a name that is old, forgotten and beautiful. I cannot stand picking a name from the top lists. My husband on the other hand wants a simple, traditional name that is not unusual. Our tastes in names clash heavily.

The names I love are:

Briar (my favorite)
Genevieve
Livia
Viviana
Isabelle
Rosalia
Emilia
Coralie

My husband loves: Ava, Hannah and Rachel. He also would like to have an Italian name since he is Italian but has turned down all my Italian name suggestions.

Originally, we considered going with Briar Rachel (which I absolutely love) but then he admitted he couldn't love it. Several months later, we decided to pick Ava Gianna but I couldn't fall in love with the name. It was too popular although I love the meaning "like a bird" since I collect bird decor. I also struggled with Gianna even though I thought it was pretty. I suggested Ava Charlotte, Ava Christine, Ava Genevieve, Ava Isabella, Ava Marlene (after my mother) and he rejected them all. So we have dropped the name and decided to start over although we're getting nowhere now.

If she was a boy, then her name would've been John Michael (my husband's name inverted) although I would've picked Jack.

Our last name starts with D and rhymes with yellow.

This is our third child (my third, and his first to be precise) and possibly our last unless we have one more (undecided).

I will update you with the results if you help! Thanks so much!!!

The trouble with names that are old, forgotten, and beautiful is that as soon as someone DOES remember one, they take off like wildfire---which is how the name Ava is #5 and Emma is #3 and Isabella is #1. It's as if someone says, "Hey, why aren't we using this awesome name??" and society replies, "Hey, yeah, why AREN'T we?" And then suddenly, we ARE.

The good news is that this means your tastes aren't as far apart as feared: you both like old beautiful names, but your husband likes the ones that have already been rediscovered, while you mostly like the ones that haven't yet.

Will it upset you if you choose a forgotten name and then soon afterward it is remembered? Society tends to move all together toward certain sounds---and the sounds on your list are mostly in that group. Livia is very close to Olivia, which is the #4 most popular girl name. Isabelle is #105, but combined with the spelling Isabel it's #40---and of course very close to Isabella at #1. Viviana is uncommon, but Vivian and Vivienne are both rising rapidly. Emilia is uncommon, but Amelia is #41 and climbing, and Emily is #6. Rosalia is uncommon, but Rosalie is expected to get much more popular because of the Twilight character with that name. And so on.

One possibility for compromise: start with a name from your list, but then find a similar name that has already been discovered. Instead of Coralie: Cora or Clara with the middle name Leigh/Lee. Instead of Emilia: Amelia or Emily or Leah. Instead of Livia: Olivia or Lilliana or Lia. Instead of Viviana: Vivian or Vivienne or Anna.

Or the other way: start with a name on his list, but find a similar name that's less common. (This is more of a challenge, I think.) Instead of Ava: Avery or Aviana. Instead of Hannah: Anneliese or Johanna or Susanna or Savannah (Savannah also has the V sound you like).

I also suggest:

Cecily
Clarissa
Emmeline
Iliana

I wanted to suggest Arabella and Annabel and Romilly, but I think they're too much -ell with your surname. Iliana and Liliana and Cecily might be, too, but I was less certain.

And I encourage your husband to reconsider Genevieve. It's similar to Gianna, and it's one of the more familiar names from your list.

It seems as if Italian names would be the perfect meeting ground: he'd like to use one, and many of them are ultra feminine like the names on your list. And there are so many good ones:

Arianna
Bianca
Claudia
Elena
Francesca
Gabriella
Lidia
Liliana
Luciana
Marilena
Mirella
Raffaella

But I can see from your list that you've already been down this route, and your husband is rejecting all of them. Perhaps he should go through a list of Italian names and say which ones he likes.

If you have a copy of The Baby Name Wizard, it might work to have each of you find which categories of names you tend to like, and then have the other person go through those categories and see if there's any common ground. He could go through the Lacy & Lissome section; you could go through Biblical or Timeless or New Classics or wherever he finds most of his favorites.

Edited to add: I just realized that some combinations of initials are dicey: particularly VD, OD, and GD. And an L-name probably shouldn't have an S for the middle initial. Many others aren't negative but do mean something: AD, CD, ED, ID, MD, RD, etc. And goodness, it's easy to spell words like BAD and SAD and MAD.