I'm writing to you because I need a sounding board and hopefully some advice from any readers who have been in similar situations. Here goes: My husband and I are expecting our first, a girl, in early February. There was lots of my suggesting names only to have him veto them, then one day he came home from work with a twinkle in his eye and said "how about Amelia?" I immediately liked, and grew to love, the name. Even as I was "deciding," he obviously had his mind made up. So our girl had been Amelia for a couple months now, and I love the fact that he named her. We have been keeping mum on the name as far as family and friends go, waiting until after she was born.
We know a couple who just had their first baby today. The husband is a friend of my husband's, but to me they are just acquaintances. Nice people, I went to her baby shower, and we have a lot of mutual friends, again mostly through my husband. But, they are people we see regularly. There's also been a lot of fanfare around this baby, while we are more low-key people. They didn't find out the sex of their baby and for the past few weeks I had been having this nightmare that they had a baby girl and named her Amelia. Well, my nightmare came true today. They sent out a mass text message announcing the birth, name, etc. I cried. A lot.
Now folks, I am well aware that in the grand scheme of things, this is a blip on the radar. We're all healthy and employed. But I feel like my heart is breaking. And now, when I hear the name Amelia, instead of thinking of my husband murmuring our baby's name as we all fell asleep together, I think of these people's strange baby and feel confused.
What would you do? I'm open to anything.
What would I do? I would name my daughter Amelia. Or, more specifically, I would not change the name of the daughter I'd already named Amelia.
According to the Social Security Administration, 4,627 baby girls were named Amelia in 2009 alone. It's too bad some acquaintances of yours were one of the many thousands to name a baby girl Amelia in 2010, but there's no reason their choice affects yours. You have already named your baby Amelia, and I don't see anything in what you've told me about the relationship between your two families that would mean each of you having an Amelia would be a problem in any way.
You should respond to their text message: "OMG!!! This is so exciting!! Amelia is what we're naming OUR daughter!! Don't tell, okay? It's a secret! And congratulations on your Amelia! We LOVE her name!! *smiley emoticon*" If you don't want to do this, you can go to plan B, which is this: when you announce your daughter's name, you will say to them with delight, "OMG, we were SO SURPRISED when you used the name too!! But we were keeping the name a secret, so we couldn't tell you until now!"
Name update! Anna writes:
You and your readers' responses were so encouraging and we kept the name we loved, and added an unusual middle name. Amelia Morning was born February 10 at home. I did some soul searching and followed my heart with the name and the birth, and couldn't be happier. Also, the "other" Amelia's parents have been extremely gracious. If anything, we have become closer to them. The daddies call each other "Amelia's dad" and have Team Amelia playdates. All's well that ends well!
